The Fall
by Althaea11
Summary: "Don't you need her? Don't you need all of us?" Maura turns back; her eyes welled up and almost glistening like the waters from the shores of a setting sun as she captures Alex's face in the blur. "Of course I do. But I also need to remember her like she is right now Alex. She is my best friend. I want her to be happy" Genres:Friendship, Family,Hurt/Comfort, Anguish/Tragedy.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes:**

 _There is a mention of a major character dealing with Alzheimer's in this story. Although the story turns tragic midway, I have no intention of killing anyone, just letting life take a fall and getting up from there. I repeat, I will not go up to the point of killing anyone._

 **PRESENT.**

In all the years that Alex had seen Maura, she hadn't truly seen her broken. She had seen her dejected and downhearted; remorseful and contrite; dismayed and afraid but the despair and the pain that slivered on her face was heart wrenching for her to even fathom. The decision Maura has taken this time was taking every bit of the strength within her to keep her even standing. Maura was breaking inside and Alex could see the pieces falling.

"You don't have to do this M. Stay. Please stay." Alex pleads.

Maura's voice cracks as she voices her words out loud. "No Alex, I cannot. You know that. I can't see her like that. I can't let her see me like that. She will be crushed. I cannot let her fall into pieces right in front of me." She turns away to hide the overwhelming surge of tears that is threatening to spill away.

"What about you? Don't you need her? Don't you need all of us?"

Maura turns back; her eyes welled up and almost glistening like the waters from the shores of a setting sun as she captures Alex's face in the blur. "Of course I do. But I also need to remember her like she is right now Alex. She is my best friend. I want her to be happy. I want every one of you to stay happy and have a happy and content life that you all deserve."

Alex takes a step towards Maura but Maura steps back pleadingly and she hesitates.

"You are my sister M. I love you and I can't see you like this." Alex eventually says.

"And you don't have to. Please."

Before Alex can say another word, Maura takes her hand and gives a gentle squeeze as if right in that moment she was fulfilling all her promises that she had ever made to her younger sister. Alex was not really her sister by blood. Maura was adopted into the family before Alex was even born but that had never made any difference in her love and adoration for her little angel. She cherished what beautiful memories she held with her and Alex knew that.

Maura looks one last time at Alex, with shreds of pain already tearing her apart and she moves out of the door way of the home that has been theirs for the past seven years but no more.

 **SEVEN YEARS BEFORE.**

It was nine months into the year and the summers had already said their goodbyes. Everything around was enwrapped into a fainter shade of the autumn blue sky while the leaves on the trees were giving a final farewell to the branches they once clung to in the brightest colors they could possibly be in. Maura had always been in love with autumn after her eternal love for spring. She had always associated autumn with an end to a beginning and a beginning to an end simultaneously. She found it bittersweet every time she let the sweet breeze of autumn caress her tethered soul. There was no malice or regrets and she could hear the echoes of promises that life made there and then. It was a new beginning for her today in the city of Boston as she was about to join as the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. It had been a dream for her and it was finally coming true. However she was as much afraid as she was excited. She was never good with a change of place. She had moved here a few days back with her little sister Alex who was starting her first year in BCU. As much she loved the new views and the clear open skies here in Boston, she was afraid of people. People, the living kind specifically, made her nervous and anxious. She wasn't shy, but her social skills never met the appropriate standard for the people she met. She had seen too much dejection that came when people failed to appreciate her or even acknowledge her for who she was just because she held the world in a different light. She loved to learn. She never let anything else come in the way of her appreciation of everything. She cherished the awe she had for the life and things around her. It was this and her unblemished devotion that she was who she was today, a brilliant professional in her field. But in the most unusual ways this made her inept with people. With all the mockery and denunciation that was thrown along her way for her goofiness and sheer adoration for knowledge, she had learnt to adore things and fear people. As a result what people saw of her was always veiled and presented. The real Maura was lost somewhere in the depths of her own soul, safely tucked away only in Maura's reach. It was only for one person that she had ever opened up even the tiniest window to her soul and that was her little sister Alex; and Alex reciprocated all the love ten times over, doused in flirts and fights that only closest siblings could share. For Alex, her elder sister had always been her soul keeper and she never wanted to let that go, even if she never admitted to it.

"M, I am leaving, getting late. See you later." Alex said out loud towards the kitchen without even turning as she sped down the stairs towards the door.

"Hey, hey, hey! Wait right there little Miss Alex! Where do you think you are leaving without having breakfast?" Maura teasingly scolded, as she brought up Alex's lunch bag.

Alex winked and took the bag, pecked a kiss on Maura's cheek and then sped up as fast as she could, shouting as she moved in haste. "I had coffee! Good luck with your first day! Don't be afraid. You have me to torture you enough!"

Maura stood there chuckling endearingly as she watched her sister dashing away. She picked up her own lunch and bag and as she stepped outside locking the front door, she let her erratic heartbeat fall back into rhythm as she whispered to herself, "Here goes nothing."

 **Chapter End Notes:** I am inspired to write a fully fledged multi-chapter story. If this first chapter sounds promising and good to you, please drop a review and I will continue. Favorites, follows and reviews are so much appreciated. Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes:** The story will now run its length in the past until specified. I hope you enjoy.

 **SEVEN YEARS AGO**

The trepidation that Maura usually felt with people around had soon ebbed away when after the brief introductions she was left alone in her office on the floor downstairs in the headquarters building. She had found the officers and detectives good enough and rather more engrossed in their own work to find time to evaluate or judge her. One Detective Vince Korsak seemed a good enough person to Maura in the way he put her to ease as she was meeting everyone, however she could sense as something off about him as well, as if there was something that was troubling his mind. She decided to keep her readings shelved in her mind for then and let everything flow in as it came. She eventually calmed as she became aware of the undisturbed silence of her office space, the quiet soothing her nerves and she was really looking forward to working sincerely day after day.

It was late evening, when Maura finished up with her first day on the headquarters, and decided to get back to her home where she was sure Alex was waiting for her to get to know how her first day was. A smile eased into her face as she reached the front porch of her front door when she heard a thump and instantly in the next moment found Alex with the door open.

"Hey M! You are in one piece!" Alex comically grinned as she let Maura in. Maura could see ketchup sticking around her mouth. Alex had taken it upon herself to prepare her evening snack, it seemed.

"Indeed. Your prayers worked." Maura pulled out a tongue to tease her sibling as she walked through and inside her home. She had missed something about it all day. She knew now, she missed the teasing of her sister.

"How was everyone? Did you make a friend?" Alex asked as she plopped on the couch picking her half eaten sandwich from her plate on the side table next to the fancy lamp Maura had bought from some antique shop a few days back.

Maura grabbed a glass of wine before she answered, "Everyone I met seemed well. I still haven't met everyone though. However, you forget dear it is me who is the problem. I am the one who is inept, remember." Alex frowned a bit into her sandwich. Maura reeled in and continued, "I like my office though. I will have to make some changes to that place of course. I was told that the last occupant was rather into a cold dark vibe and had made the place likewise too. I am excited to give it a makeover." Maura actually started ticking off a list in her mind of the things she had to buy now, and Alex caught on it.

"Hey now, easy, rest and we can go do all your shopping together this weekend."

Maura grinned at the telepathic reading and eased into the couch besides her sister. "How was your day Alex?"

"It was good M. I made a few friends too. They have invited me to their study group as well. I might start to like here, you know."

Maura patted Alex's shoulder. She picked up the remote and before turning the television on, she softly whispered in her smile, "With you around me every morning and evening, I think me too."

Hours into the night, having had the dinner that Maura had made for both of them, Alex had gone to her room to work on the assignments that were already given to her today. Maura decided to do little bedside reading before going to sleep so she picked up a glass of her favorite wine, and hauled herself up to her room. She slipped under the cool covers, having changed into her night suit and resting her back against the headboard, picked up a book from her bedside. She had only read for a few minutes when she heard a knock on the door.

"Hey M, can I come In? I…" Alex seemed a little lost for words. It was not left uncaught by Maura.

"You don't have to ask, come here." Maura patted the other side of her bed inviting Alex in. "Hey, are you alright?" A sliver of worry fluttered on Maura's face.

"Yeah, I am okay, don't worry." Alex tried to smile but couldn't stick to it. She just briskly moved until she reached the other side of the bed and settled down beside Maura, her head, just near her right hand.

Maura instantly kept her book aside, pulling away her covers for Alex to snuggle in, and let her rest her head on her lap. "What is it Alex? What is bothering you?" Her little sister usually never did snuggling, but when she did, she really needed it. Alex eased and her nerves began to calm down as Maura began to soothingly run her fingers in the blond curls of her younger sibling. It always calmed Alex down.

"I… I just didn't want to be alone tonight; had a dream. Can I stay here?" Alex beseeched.

"You can, and you may." Maura grinned as Alex looked up with a raised eyebrow at being corrected. Alex found her smile as well.

Moments into the silence, Alex whispered, "Don't ever leave me M."

Maura aware of the moisture that had trickled on her lap, bent down to place a long kiss on Alex's forehead and whispered back, "I will never sweetheart. You know I won't."

They both let the slumber take over and soon fell into deep sound sleep.

 **Chapter Notes:** Jane is introduced in the next chapter; stay with me. Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sleep some more, it isn't quite the time yet." Alex could hear the smile in Maura's voice. Maura gently patted Alex's arm as she stood up to get ready.

Alex was still in a deep slumber but found a smile lazily form on her face on hearing Maura's words. She hummed in agreement as she turned on her side away from the hazy glimmer of an oncoming sunrise. Maura adoringly smiled once more before she traced the length of her room to get the day started. For some unknown reason, she had a feeling that this day was going to be interesting.

_._._._

"Good morning Dr. Isles. How are you today?" Detective Vince Korsak greeted as he stood on the entrance of Maura's office. Engrossed deep in her paperwork, Maura was a little startled on hearing a voice but she gracefully restrained her startle into a genuine surprise and stood up as she welcomed Korsak inside. Vince Korsak appeared to be one of the more competent detectives, Maura had observed, perhaps significantly due to his long term of service in the Boston Police department. The mix of grey and white hair gave a calming touch to his stature though Maura wondered if he would have been one of those hard headed cops in his early years. Nevertheless Vince had been generous in his welcome ever since Maura met him and Maura was grateful for that.

"Good morning Detective Korsak. I am very well, thank you, how are you this morning?" Maura amiably smiled and Korsak smiled back. Maura could still see some creases on his forehead, the remnants of the anxiety and worry that she had seen yesterday on his visage, but today they seemed to be fading away.

"I am good thanks, so already overflowing with work?"

"Yes, well I decided to complete the paperwork on the pending cases that were left by my predecessor, before I could start fresh. I am really not used to leaving things in the middle."

"Yeah, well I am really glad to hear that Doc, I love a good work ethic as well. That reminds me, the body of a gunshot wound victim is about to be delivered in here for autopsy. I and my team have been assigned that case. Let me know when you have the reports ready? The case is kind of time sensitive. You have my number right? On second thoughts, I might send someone later in the evening to get them, is that okay?"

"Of course detective, I would get on it as soon the body gets here."

Korsak smiled. "Thanks Doc, looking forward to working with you."

As Korsak turned to let himself out, Maura found herself immersed back in her work.

Few hours into the silence of the work, Maura had finally been able to set up her niche in her new office space. She had settled in a well adjusted rhythm as she conducted the autopsy. She didn't even realize there was someone standing near her until she heard someone rest against her tools tray.

Maura, startled, turned to find a tall, dark haired woman, with her dark curls falling gracelessly on her shoulders and her hands in the pockets of her trousers. She recognized the "detective" in the woman and smiled. The woman caught her smile and found a smile suddenly clinging to her lips as well.

"Dr Isles, is it? Hi, I am Detective Jane Rizzoli, I am with Detective Vince Korsak."

"Hello Detective, very nice to meet you. Yes, I am almost done with the autopsy; just give me another twenty minutes?"

Jane nodded and relaxed into the chair nearby.

Maura attempted to fall back into sync but something about the brunette unfocused her. She could not pin point the exact thing that was urging her to drop everything and sit and learn all about the detective instead. She had one those personalities, Maura thought, the ones that called out to people in the most intriguing ways. The observant part of Maura's brain could also sense some reluctance and indisposition from the detective in letting anyone in. She seemed rather unusually fatigued, although she had no other physical symptoms of exhaustion. Maura could feel an unusual uneasiness in the silence between them that didn't have anything to do with the coldness in the morgue. _What was it, then?_

"Something wrong, Doc?" Jane questioned.

"What... ummm… What happened?" Maura fumbled as Jane's voice broke her stupor.

"Ah…" Jane couldn't resist smirking, "You have been lost in thought holding the needle from over a minute now."

"Oh, Yes, I am sorry Detective. I was just thinking something." Maura scrabbled, putting her tools back in their place and getting back to her workstation. But as she turned and caught up Jane's innocent smile, she felt a genuine easiness setting on her, soothing her nerves.

She finally completed her annotations and notes and once done, brought the file back to the detective.

"Here Detective Rizzoli, all my observations have been carefully detailed in this report." Maura graciously offered the folder.

Jane pleasingly smiled; for some reason, she didn't have to force this smile. "Thanks Doc. And please call me Jane."

From the moment Jane turned to leave, Maura found herself distracted with intrigue. But despite all the reasons and explanations Maura considered in order to decipher her unexpected derailment of thought, something about this little meet kept Maura in a cheerful mood, all day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Notes:** After having written the last chapter, the smile on Maura's face had me wanting to delve into that first meet from Jane's viewpoint as well.

_._._._._

When Korsak had told Jane about a new chief medical examiner, Jane had found herself irritated at having to deal with yet another obnoxious and insufferable, or obsessive and compulsive medical professional. The past post keepers, haven't really set a good example in terms of an amiable or even cordial behavior. However it wasn't the person per say that she was agitated about, it was the timing. Jane had just got back her footing in homicide after what went through with her and a psychopath. She was victimized was to say the least. Every person has his own monster, she had known, but meeting the same wasn't exactly a happy feeling. She was having nightmares still, not of being killed by a scalpel that was the weapon of choice of her personal boogie man, but of losing everyone she held close by the monster in front of her before she was killed. She wasn't really a talkative person, even though everyone in her close family was ready to listen. She just didn't find it easy telling the people she loved that she saw them killed day after day in her nightmares.

So when Jane learnt that a new chief medical examiner has taken over, she was definitely agitated. However she decided to meet this new M.E. when she had some amount of control on her temper unlike the usual settings in which she often met people these days.

The cold of the morgue and the adjoining office downstairs never really bugged her much, though it did bring chills on her skin every time she stepped outside the elevator. For the first time today, she was greeted with an odor that wasn't foul. It was, she couldn't really place it but it was sweet and soothing. She actually looked about to confirm she was in the right floor and was genuinely surprised when she found that it really was. She briskly looked around for the new medical examiner and she found herself standing in front of the twin doors of the room where the predecessors to the post used to conduct the autopsies. She saw a comparatively young woman with properly woven blond curls tugged at the back of her head, clad in a black over gown working solemnly and quite intently over a dead body. Something about the scene seemed oddly incompatible to Jane. This woman did not seem to be someone who would choose to cut up bodies for a living and yet here she was engrossed in the same. Her surprise slowly melted into awe for some reason; something only her gut knew at that moment and she found her restlessness disappear for a split second.

She slowly stepped inside, careful not to break the focus with which the doctor was working. If she were friends with this person, she would actually tell her how cute she looked when she furrowed her brows in concentration. She was already hoping to be friends with this person. That was so not her and yet she found it to be true.

The meticulous movement of Maura's hands actually somehow soothed Jane as well and she lost track of time for how long she stood waiting. It was when she had suddenly slumped against the tools tray that Maura's focus broke and she turned, startled.

Jane saw surprise being replaced with an amiable recognition in Maura's eyes within seconds of Maura's gaze and she was actually impressed with the woman. She introduced herself cordially. What she heard back wasn't the voice of an obnoxious or irritable medical professional. Her nerves eased when she found a graceful tone respond back to her and she didn't even realize when she nodded on Maura's request and sat back on the chair nearby.

Jane could see she had distracted the doctor and somehow she found even the distracted M.E. adorable. _What was she even doing here? This isn't her place._ She could see with the posture and the delicacy she was handling her work tools that she was rather a skilled professional. She was now really hoping to be friends with Maura. She suddenly realized that Maura had stopped doing anything really and was actually frozen in deep thought. Jane already found a warmth reach up her eyes as she endearingly smirked at the fazed M.E.

"Something wrong, Doc?" Jane found herself asking when she really couldn't hold her smile.

Maura actually fumbled at being woken up from her reverie. Jane couldn't resist plastering another smirk on her face. When Maura finally got her focus back, Jane truly found her agitation fade away into nothingness. She actually liked this person; definitely a good vibe. She found intrigue tagging along the realization but the detective in her head calmly convinced her that all questions will be answered in their own time.

Minutes later Maura offered the report to Jane and as she took it from Maura's hands, she could see the glimmer of intrigue in Maura's eyes. Jane realized that perhaps the feelings were mutual. Jane turned around and found a smile tugging at her lips yet again. May be they were going to be friends one day.


	5. Chapter 5

"Hey Doc! How is the autopsy going?"

Maura smiled as Jane's raspy soothing voice echoed from the hallway. It had been almost six months now, working as the chief medical examiner at the headquarters and even though the workload here fluctuated at times, from almost unmanageable paperwork to active cases back to back, Maura had found her place here. She had always wanted to be able to do something worthwhile and somehow helping bring justice to the dead, made some difference. She was glad she could work with some of the most dedicated detectives here at the headquarters and not the ones who found it upon themselves to place the blame on the first suspect they saw and close the case for name's sake. Most notably for her was Detective Jane Rizzoli. She insisted on the first meet to be called by her first name and for some reason Maura had obliged. She felt good when the detective was around, knowing that her work with her was definitely leading the right way. She did some research and she was really impressed with the skills and qualifications that Jane had accomplished. An honor recruit during her training, she was perhaps the most capable detective in her batch and in the headquarters. She was never quick to judge, active at linking random clues and she listened to every annotation that Maura pointed out in the discrepancies related to the cases. She was bright and intelligent and she was brave. Braver than most, as she had heard.

"Hello Jane! Good morning to you too! The autopsy isn't going anywhere, I am conducting it." Maura smirked as Jane raised her eyebrow at being taken for her words.

"You always have to take things literally, don't you Dr. Isles?" Jane pouted, although a smiled kept tugging at her lips.

"I thought we were past this; you were supposed to call me by my first name as well." It was Maura's turn to pout.

"Yes Maura!" Jane surrendered. "So, did you find anything about the murder weapon?"

"The murder weapon is a cylindrical heavy hard object." Maura summarized from her findings.

"Gee… What could it be?" Jane comically addressed. No matter how much impatient Jane usually got with delays in deduction, she loved walking with Maura on her road to connecting the clues, just for fun. It took time for Maura to realize but she was had finally accepted that this is how they could work things out.

"You think it is a pipe?"

"Pipe is too thin." Maura quipped.

"What about a baton?" Jane almost laughed as she went on.

"I am glad that you find my scientific approach amusing." Maura smirked, with no hint of despise.

Jane couldn't help but smile back. Jane had found out early that Maura didn't like to draw farfetched conclusions. She was meticulous and always deduced on the basis of the facts that she could confirm. To make matters more interesting, Maura was a geek. Jane had no idea how Maura managed to know about almost everything. For some reason, while others found her inept at social conversations due to her superpower of being able to fill almost any conversation with gross science facts, Jane adored these quirks in Maura. They both loved to push and pull in their conversations even though Jane didn't know half the facts. Most of the time this helped in solving the case and that seemed to be worth it.

They eventually went on discussing the other clues identified from the crime scene and linked the crucial ones to a probable lead. When Jane was about to leave to tell the rest of the team to follow up the newly discovered lead, she turned to Maura, "We should definitely spend some time outside this morgue. You just might like it. How about tonight at my apartment? Ma is cooking." Jane's smile was eager and Maura could never say no to that.

"I would love that Jane. May I bring my sister as well? She would love meeting you all."

"Like the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts even has to ask!" Jane winked but Maura pouted and Jane instantly smiled and nodded. "Of course, bring her along; I would love to meet Alex." She then smiled and left.

Maura could already feel a familiar warmth embracing her heart. A smile plastered itself on Maura's lips. Alex would be delighted.

_._._._._

"I hope you haven't forgotten our code M. Sisters share!" Alex chirped as she saw Maura happily lost in her own thoughts. "I haven't seen you this content since you found out that we were going to stay together."

Maura smiled more fondly and instantly tugged Alex's arm in her own, pulling her on the couch. "We are going to meet some friends today; you and me, family dinner at my friend's place."

"Oh my goodness! And I am finding it out now! Who is the guy! You are already meeting family?" Alex feigned shock as she covered her mouth with her hands.

"There is no guy Alex. It is Jane. We decided to do something outside of work. And I thought let us all do it together."

"I see." Alex winked nonetheless and Maura shrugged. "I am finally going to meet the famous detective friend of yours. About time I must say. You really like spending time with her, I can see. I am glad M. You are finally having a proper social life."

Maura smiled. She had only talked about Jane a few times but Alex never needed her words to read her mind. She really did like spending time with Jane. She didn't have many people in her life that accepted her for the person she was and respected her for that. "You are kidding right? You have been my social life all along!"

"Yeah, yeah. Well at least now I will have someone to complain about you. I am more than excited now!"

"What would you complain about me?" Maura pouted.

"Now there dear sis, that is a secret between me and Jane." Alex grinned and then side hugged Maura, "We will probably discuss about your fascination of shoe boxes." Maura was about to complain when Alex tugged her up and cheered, "Now come on, no time to waste, we need to get ready! I want to meet Jane!"

Maura found adoration embracing her chest as she took Alex's heed and decided to get ready.


	6. Chapter 6

Jane was just about to turn the television on to catch up with the game highlights when she heard a graceful knock at the door. Her mother, Angela and his brother, Frankie, were already there so she almost glowed at the prospect of having Maura there finally. For some unknown reason, Jane was excited to have Maura over to her home for dinner. She chanced a look at the clock; eight o' clock sharp. _Wow right on time!_ She took brisk steps that subtly echoed of her excitement to open the door. When she did open it, she found Maura standing there, smiling radiantly with her eyes, with one of her arms tugged cozily in the arms of a just as adorable younger blonde who was, Jane noticed, seemed enthralled with her the minute she saw her.

As the recognition of Maura's younger sibling settled in Jane's conscious, a genuine adoration hugged her lips. She earnestly cheered, "Hi Maura! And Hi there!"

Before Maura could say anything beyond the hello that she was able to mouth, Alex chirped up, "Hi! It is such a pleasure to finally meet you. I am Alexandria Isles. But you can call me Alex. Maura calls me Alex. You can call me the same." Alex instantly opened her palms to shake hands with the detective and Jane gladly obliged given she was definitely enjoying the adoring introduction. Jane hardly ever did that, shake hands that is, especially after her hands were scarred, but right now it didn't matter. And when Alex didn't flinch and instead widened her smile, Jane found taking that leap worth it.

"Ahaa. Such a classy name Alexandria. Love it! And Alex, you can definitely call me Jane." Jane winked as she looked back at Maura and then again at Alex. " Come in you two, welcome to my humble abode."

Maura's eyes lit up at the last word. "Thank you Jane. Did you know the word 'abode' dates back to as early as the thirteenth century. There is a word that is often associated with this word, 'sojourn', although it means 'a temporary stay'. I like how this word unfurls on the tongue. Don't you?"

Jane's eyebrows rose in genuine endearment as Maura brought up the associations and she chuckled as she replied, "O yes, definitely Maura, I so love the word." Jane then slowly side-tugged Alex and smirked assessing the mood, "How big is her brain? I always wonder how she keeps all that information inside."

Alex laughed at Jane's comment, but when she saw Maura on the verge of pouting, she decided to take sides later. "Well Jane, I would have to say, that is all her. She is just a genius that way." Maura blushed fondly at Alex and Alex simply winked back. Jane loved how Alex put Maura at ease. It was really good finally see Maura relaxed like that.

"A genius indeed! Come on you guys; meet my not so genius family. I bet you will find them handful anyways." Jane went on to introducing them to her family. Unlike her other social gatherings or dinners, for some reason Maura found it easier to be with the Rizzolis. They had already taken on them, her and her sister as a part of their home. It was hard to find such genuine warmth in people. Alex seemed to love this as well. She was in fact way too comfortable with Jane. Maura wasn't sure what this meant, but she savored it nonetheless.

While they all were having dinner, Alex kept on telling random stories and incidences about Maura's eccentric quirks and how they ruffled every one up around her. However, Alex told them in such an affectionate way that everyone couldn't resist reciprocating the endearment through their eyes and smiles towards Maura. Maura found it hard to not to blush every time that happened.

"There was this one conference last fall though," Alex was laughing as she continued, "M gave the keynote speech and it was spectacular. I didn't understand one bit of it and yet it was one the most fun I ever had." Alex almost choked as the memories of the conference flooded back. Jane who was sitting just beside her, stroked her back in order to ease her, "Easy there tiger."

Maura was warmed by the gesture and she patted Alex's arm as she mouthed, "You okay?" When Alex nodded, Maura relaxed into the conversation, "Jane, don't indulge her, just ask what she did all through the speech." Maura accusingly looked at the Alex, although there was only the slightest hint of allegation.

Jane admiringly raised her eyebrow in question towards Alex. Alex laughed and guiltily replied, "Well, let us just say someone was winking and whistling every time M was saying 'item' and Jane, there were plenty of them." Jane had to put her hand on her mouth to stop laughing out loud but Angela and Frankie laughed out loud anyways. Maura blushed and almost shrunk in her chair when Jane patted Maura's arm over Alex and mouthed as she chuckled, "item, really?"

As Maura joined in the laughter anyways, a part of her felt a wave of bliss enwrap her and in the most cliché sense, she felt at home away from home.


	7. Chapter 7

**PRESENT.**

Tears rolled down Maura's cheeks and she felt her heart somehow tighten further within her chest. Her mind fought a losing battle with her heart because even after having made the decision of doing what she was about to do, leaving Jane and Alex and every single one of her friends she had found here, the loving family of Jane's that had taken both her and Alex in as their own, she was trapped in a turmoil that was eating her will away. She didn't want to go away. She was afraid and terrified of leading herself into this alone. But even then, she had finally decided that she wouldn't take everyone else on the path on which she was eventually going to lose her own herself. She wouldn't do that to anyone she loved. She couldn't. She would rather endure all the suffering alone instead of dragging everyone else with her to suffer.

She can still remember that first family dinner clearly when Jane had invited her to her apartment. She had felt instantly at home, right in her teasing and smiles. In just a few moments hundreds of moments rushed through her mind, the small, the sweet, the big and the endearing ones that she had spent with everyone all through these seven years. For some reason, she could find Jane in almost every one of them, even more than Alex. Alex had been her home for all her life, no doubt, but that night she had seen the start of a beautiful and honest friendship, love of a family bestowed without any hesitation or disbelief and in bounds she had lost hope for. All these years she had found this love and trust abound and never lessening. All these times, this realization had given her a big indulgent smile. The mere memory of those blissful moments were like soothing embraces; but now they were giving her the agony that even her dying brain cells were not able to cope with. She was falling into a dark abyss of pain and loneliness and it was only a matter of time when she would ebb into oblivion.

It was only a few weeks before when she had realized that her worst fears were true. Her doctor had confirmed that she had Alzheimer's. Her whole world had come crashing down; and it was not at the realization that her recent memory lapses, inexplicable mood swings , a sense of absence and disorientation while working through procedures as simple as autopsy even after years of practice were most probably due to a genetic anomaly in her brain that was causing her brain cells to die one by one; but it was instead the sudden look fast forward into her future where she could seen every single relation that she had treasured all her life writhing in the agony and gasping for a breath of air for one more moment of recognition from her dying consciousness. She knew Alex won't be able to handle all that. And Jane… although they never needed words to tell each other how they felt for each other, the thing was, words were really never needed between them. They were each other's best friends, care givers, and things that didn't really ever need recognition; just a smile was enough every time. They had everything in the peaceful silence, in the endearing gestures, in the consoling tears and in the heart-warming smiles. Jane had brought a whole new world for Maura and although Maura would have stood by the argument that Jane meant more to her than she meant to Jane, the truth was that she knew Jane had given her a special place in her heart, a place of trust and love. There was no denying in the fact that with speed of the progression of the disease, there wasn't much time when Maura wouldn't be able to recognize the agonizing tears in the eyes of Jane when she would realize that Maura was dying every day, bit by bit, losing herself into nothingness. Yes, _when_ ; not _if_ but _when_. It wasn't a possibility of whether that would happen or not; it was just a matter of time when it would. And it was something she couldn't take back.

Over the excruciating days she had spent the past weeks after the confirmation of the diagnosis, she had cried and shouted and got angry and then cried again. She had done all this and hadn't told anyone, not even Alex. Of course until one day Alex had found out all about it through a minor slip and Maura's doubts were confirmed. She was going to be a ticking bomb, which will eventually blow every one apart, leaving nothing but devastated souls in her wake; the few rare souls that had been the light of her life all these years. Alex had cried all night and eventually they had both finally slept in each other's arms in clothes laden with both their tears.

Today, however, Maura found the pain in her heart worsen tenfold. Alex hadn't yet anticipated until today that Maura had made up her mind to leave Boston and spend the last years of her fading life in seclusion; at least Maura knew that at one point of time she wouldn't even remember who she had been and what she had left behind. The pain will fade away too with the memory. But when the realization had dawned on Alex, Maura had seen despair replaced by fear and hurt in Alex's beautiful hazel orbs. It was agonizing to see her in tears; she was physically hurting every time she saw her little angel aching in anguish; but Maura knew that Alex will get through this somehow. Jane won't leave her alone, she knew that. Alex would be safe with Jane around her. She suddenly felt that she had to tell Jane that; take that promise from her for her sister before she left. She had decided to leave without saying a goodbye because she knew it that was going to end in tears; tears in those gentle dark eyes. All she wanted was to commit to memory the caress of those eyes and not the hurt. She had no strength left to bring herself up to it, see Jane angry and hurt. But she knew she had to see Jane one more time. After all, Jane had been her strength all these years; and as her need overpowered her fears, she found herself failing. All she could think of now was to look into those dark gentle eyes one more time.

Maura turned back looking at the open door of her house one last time. She was leaving a crying Alex inside. She was breaking all her promises to her sister.

"I am sorry Alex. Please forgive me." Maura turned away once more and a fresh stream of tears broke out from her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author Notes:** I apologize for that sudden hurt in the last chapter. I think I should explain myself. When I started writing this one piece, I had planted the idea that something was going to go awry. That is what the last chapter was-the fall. This Maura is having an emotional and physical crisis; something that she realizes isn't going to get any better. I would like to think that this Maura would rather let her loved ones stay safe and unhurt than sooth her own pain. Of course I am not one of those writers who leave a story at endings that are terribly sad. (I don't like sad endings, not with these two.) But this story, just this story, demanded a particular level of hurt and I had to go against my heart and pick from one of the fears this Maura would have and bring it alive. What I am trying to say is, hold on everyone, because Jane will not let Maura go this easily. And even though I have restricted the life span somehow, let us just say, I wish to find an infinity in this little span. I hope you all stay. Thanks for reading.

P.S. I was thinking of jumping back to some good moments in the last seven years in between chapters, should I?

P.P.S. This one is a short chapter because I couldn't leave on the last chapter's note.

_._._._._._._._

 **PRESENT.**

Jane was slouching on her couch when Jo Friday let out a declarative bark. Jane had too heard her phone in vibration somewhere and smiled back at Jo with hands up in surrender.

"O yes, you are good dog Jo, I am gonna get up and get that."

As Jo decided to curl back up in her comfortable blanket bed, Jane went on to the kitchen island and picked up the phone. Alex was calling. It was weekend; perhaps Alex had a fun day planned for her. She picked up the call with the smile, completely oblivious to the fright in Alex's breath as she spoke first.

"Hey Alex, what's up?!"

"Jane, Jane… do something Jane, M is leaving, she is going to leave us…I tried but she wouldn't listen… why won't she listen…" Alex sputtered on the phone, her rambling clearly laced with fear and worry.

Jane instantly tensed even though she had no idea what Alex was talking about _._ She realized that Alex had been crying with the short breaths that she took. _Maura leaving?_ She just saw her yesterday. She did find the M.E. a little tensed and anxious last few weeks but she had asked and Maura had dismissed, so she had figured that might be Maura needed some time to open up. _Did I miss something?_

"Wait, wait Alex. Just tell me what happened?"

_._._._._._._

Maura had driven to Jane's apartment and was just getting out of her car, when she saw Jane running out of her apartment building. The weather had turned gloomy and cloudy. Perhaps, for once, it was taking on her mood. However, looking at Jane, she found herself lost for words. She froze. She hadn't thought about how she was going to tell Jane everything. All through the drive from her house to here, she had worried about Alex and how she had to ask Jane to take care of her little sister. She hadn't given a thought of how she would start telling her the truth that will tear both of them apart. _Why hadn't she thought of that?_

She saw Jane approaching towards her in brisk urgent steps, her demeanor discernibly tensed. She could see anger, worry and relief wash in turns on Jane's visage but her body stayed tensed all through the fifteen seconds that the detective took to cross the road and get to her. _Did she know?_ Maura was sure that Jane was going to yell something until the last moment when Jane just took her hands in her own and seized her completely into a deep unexpected hug.

 _She knows._


	9. Chapter 9

**FIVE YEARS AGO.**

"Maura?" Jane's low voice hung up in the comfortable silence of the living room at Maura's home. It was late evening and both Maura and Jane were just sitting on the couch, their eyes almost on the verge of drooping, resting after a long exhausting day of work. Their friendship had soon fondly grown into trust and care and eventually they found themselves in each other homes after work, more frequently, spending any free time in each other's company.

"Yes Jane…" Maura's response was soft, as if complementing the ripple that Jane's words had lightly made in the calm of the room.

"What do you think of people who would die for someone they love?"

Maura was taken by a little surprise with that question. She turned to study Jane's face, still calm and indiscernible from the outside, as if the unrest in Jane's mind that had somehow swirled out with that question was never there to begin with. But being friends with Jane for almost two years by now, Maura knew her enough to know that this just meant that the detective was being her usual adept in her ability to mask her vulnerabilities. For some reason she wasn't sure if she wanted Jane to do that.

"Why do ask that?" Maura found herself asking.

Jane imitated a pout as she looked back in Maura's eyes that were now clouded with questions. "Maura, please, tell me?"

Maura had by now so grown fond of Jane's immature pouts that she instantly gave in to the request. It was something she had no control, any longer.

"Well…" Maura paused as she really gave the question a thought, and then she continued, "I think that the fact that somebody chooses to give away his or her life to save someone's else, that is really brave Jane, but do you know what I think is braver?"

Jane found herself eager to know what Maura had to say. "What?"

Maura just smiled back with a fondness and sincerity that had apparently became an object of endearment for Jane as well. "When people chose to live for someone they love. It takes more courage than one can possibly think of."

_._._._._._._._._._._

 **PRESENT.**

The panic and hurt in Alex's voice had already registered itself in Jane's brain before she had found out the reason. The moment those words were out, the unbearable truth that Maura had Alzheimer's sounded almost as if a lightning had struck Jane, but when the bad news didn't just end there, when Alex continued saying that Maura had decided to leave them to protect them from the hurt to come, Jane had felt the blow of everything strike her with ten times the intensity. It didn't even made sense in the first few moments but when she realized, she almost faltered in comprehension, her body gave away. Nevertheless, the urgency in the words of Alex, that she had to stop Maura from what she was about to do, gave her body the rush of adrenaline to gear back in action. She had immediately reined her tears back in that were threatening to burst out, because no matter how strong she had been in the face of death, when it had come to Maura, her best friend in the entire universe, she found herself fighting not out of strength but out of inability to even consider living in a world where Maura didn't exist. Seven years before, she wouldn't even have imagined anything like that. She had never been attached to anyone else but her family. But then, Maura had become her family.

As soon as she assured Alex and asked her to stay at home, she hung up the phone, grabbed the keys and badge, and bustled out of her apartment without thinking of anything else but finding Maura _. Where would she be right now? Alex said she was leaving Boston. Airport! She had to rush to airport. Damn it Maura, what are you even thinking!_

But it hadn't taken a drive to the airport to find whom Jane wanted to find the most right then. The moment she came out of her building, her eyes found the most stricken pair of hazel eyes she had ever seen. Maura was standing right outside, on the other side of the road.

Suddenly Jane could see everything that Maura had gone through alone these past few weeks. The distress, the confusion, the despair, the ache, the hurt, the unimaginable pain of making a decision to leave everyone she cared for behind; it suddenly struck her. In a fraction of second she recognized the disheveled weak and indecisive Maura inside the still gracefully standing Maura. Maura's eyes found hers too. In the moment their eyes met, Maura had broken. Jane could see her entire body shiver into the realization as Maura's subconscious broke all barriers to give in to the pain. Jane could think of nothing else but to rush to her and she almost ran to get to her. The moment she was able to stand right in front of a Maura who was about to fall apart, she just took Maura's fragile hands into her scarred ones, and immediately swept her in a deep embrace. She was not going to let Maura fall to pieces. She wouldn't let her. And as Maura finally burst into tears in her arms, Jane's eyes knew nothing more to fall apart themselves in a relief that Maura hadn't left her. She still had her. And no matter what this genius friend of hers was going to say, she wouldn't let her leave her anymore.

_._._._._._._._


	10. Chapter 10

The hazel orbs were startled to find another fresh stream of tears engulfing them with such fortitude. The strong intense hold of Jane's embrace had become the tipping point for the overwhelming ache that had taken home in Maura's chest these past weeks. The fact that her mind was once again able to register the all-consuming embrace of her best friend, the person she had grown to care and love so much over the years and that this just might be the last one she might ever have was in itself unbearable. Somehow, one look into those eyes had managed to bring all her barriers to crumble down; whatever rational arguments she had been fighting over these days to convince herself that she could live without having Jane in her life had essentially turned futile. She had no idea how to survive without her best friend, she just didn't know.

Another intense stream of tears broke out and she couldn't help but bury herself in one long tug into Jane's shoulders and cry without reservations. She could feel Jane's own breakdown swelling inside her, her own tears breaking free. Maura didn't try to disentangle herself to say anything. Jane didn't say anything either until she really found herself believing that Maura hadn't left and was in fact standing right there.

As Jane finally registered that Maura hadn't left her yet, she pulled back instantly to look into those glistening swelled orbs.

"What were you thinking Maura? What on earth were you thinking?"

Words choked in Maura's throat as she heard the pain in Jane's voice. She had no idea how to tell Jane everything, even after she had apparently found out. Will she ever find the strength to tell her and leave? Maura found it an impossibility right now.

Jane could see the internal clash in Maura's mind. She was on the verge of collapsing. Jane immediately set all questions and accusations for later and beseeched Maura with a gentle tug to come with her upstairs to her apartment. Maura didn't have in her to fight that, so she acquiesced and let Jane hold her with her arms over her shoulder to push her forward.

Jane pulled every ounce of strength in her to be able to see her best friend in the condition she was in, broken, exhausted and still fighting an inner battle. She carefully managed to get her still sobbing friend all the way up to her apartment, opened the door with one hand, while still holding onto Maura's fragile frame and then gently made her sit on her couch. She ran to get a glass of water for Maura and then she sat right on the table in front of Maura, holding her hands in her own. Maura's tears were still not willing to stop.

"Hey hey… sssshh.. Everything is okay Maur. You are okay. You will be okay. I am here." Jane stroked Maura's arms and back until she could feel the shivers fade. She pushed the glass in Maura's hands to drink some water from the glass that she was still gripping tightly and then instantly switched to sit beside her on the couch tugging her close.

Maura gave in to that comfort for the moment. She rested her head on Jane's familiar shoulders and let it all in. Minutes into the silence, when Maura had finally found the strength to rein in the tears, Jane spoke in a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me Maur? You were just going to leave me?"

The ache in Jane's voice was still echoing. Maura had to find words. "I had no choice Jane. I… I … I couldn't do this to you. I am never going to get better. And I… You would… I couldn't see you hurt."

"And you thought I could?" Jane wasn't unaware of the turmoil in Maura's voice. She was stuttering to find words. In all her seven years with her, she had never seen her falter like that. She almost could sense another breakdown eminent, so she eased up to talk some sense into Maura.

"Maura, don't you know me? Why did you even think that I would ever let you take this stupid path of isolation? You are my best friend Maura. There isn't anything in the world I wouldn't do for you. You know that. How was I possibly supposed to stay okay with you gone? And you didn't even think of Alex?" Jane's voice was low but firm.

"But I will be gone Jane. Everything you know about me, everything I am, it will fade away even before I die. I did think of Alex and I did think of you. That is why I wanted to just disappear from your lives while I still could hold some semblance of you all. I had no choice. I have no choice. I just can't stay here, watching myself lose everything, lose you and Alex, watching you both lose me…" Maura almost broke at the last phrase, a part of her still fighting over her decision. She was finding it harder and harder to draw strength from her already fragile mind. But she had to.

Jane turned to sit face to face with Maura. She had to make Maura believe, see it right. She pulled her in front of her, her scarred hands still shaking as they desperately tried to hold onto Maura. "Please don't say that Maura. You have a choice. You have the choice of letting us help you through this. You can't leave me like this. I cannot bear to leave you. Please, can't you see? If you think you leaving me like this will hurt less than seeing you not able to recognize me, then you are wrong. I will not make it without you Maur…" Jane found her own voice choking now, but she had to keep talking, she had to stop Maura from leaving, "Maur, you once told me that it takes courage to live for someone, please let me be your courage, and live for me; live with me, with us. Don't leave us and fight this alone. You know you don't want to. I know you don't. Please for once listen to your heart."

"I am listening to my heart Jane… I…"

"If your heart is asking you to leave me, then listen to mine. You believe in me don't you? Please listen to mine Maur, don't leave me…"

Maura suddenly couldn't trust her own rational arguments anymore. She had never seen her best friend plead in front of her like this. And this wasn't something she ever wanted to see. Even if her heart and mind were on the verge of a collapse, all she wanted was to set every fear and reason aside and give Jane what she wanted. She couldn't see Jane break apart like this. She couldn't.

"Okay…" a small voice came out from Maura, her eyes not meeting Jane's.

"Okay? You won't leave me?" Jane was still unbelieving although she didn't want to.

"No Jane. In all totality, I can never." Maura had looked in her eyes back again as she said that.

Jane still had to make sure. Her own heart was on the verge of a giving away. "No no no no no... Tell me plainly, are you still planning to leave me and everyone?"

Jane's eyes were glistening with hope. May be she could live for her. She could still find the courage to give Jane what she had asked. "No Jane, I will not leave you." _Not until I am still me._


	11. Chapter 11

**Author Notes:** _Somehow it seemed impossible for me to move from the anguish before making it all right with Alex as well. For me this Maura has two pillars in her life. One is Jane and the other is Alex. I didn't want to skip this. A little pain before all this gets a little better. The next update will be up soon._

 __._._._._._.__

 _Maura found herself standing at the door of her house at Beacon Hill. She could see a crying Alex through the hazy glass window adjacent to the door that had a plain view to the living room. Alex was curled up on the couch murmuring something over and over. She tried to step in her home but somehow the door won't budge. She tried again but failed. The cry was fading somehow and that didn't give Maura any better feeling. She pushed the door yet again, this time with all the strength she could muster; the door gave away. She then slowly pushed the door wider, and took hushed steps to reach up to Alex although she wanted to rush towards her asking her what had happened. She tried to decipher what Alex was mouthing now, so low that even the whispers seemed broken, words now only coming out between sighs. Maura carefully dropped to her knees in front of Alex, who was lying down in a curled position, and very gently tugged at her hand._

" _What is wrong Alex?" she could barely hear her own words._

 _Alex suddenly shuddered as she raised her head to meet with Maura's gaze. Her face was pale and she looked weak. Her eyes were swelled up with all the crying and the trail of the tears that had dried out painted grim imprints on her cheeks. As soon as Alex's eyes locked on Maura's, a fresh stream of tears engulfed her. Maura could see hurt and worry striking her sibling's face at the same time and with the same intense vigor. Something seemed to trigger a churn deep inside Maura's chest as well. Somehow that singular desperate and worry-stricken face of her little sister cut through her like a sharp knife._

" _Alex…"_

" _You broke your promise M. You promised me, and still you left me…" Somewhere deep inside, Maura had already realized that she was the reason why Alex was crying before Alex voiced those words, but when the words really did register themselves in Maura's ears, an irredeemable pain, a towering helplessness and almost unbearable anger swallowed her. Tears were about to drown her but she had to be strong for Alex. She was about to assure Alex somehow that she would mend everything and that it will be all okay, but Alex suddenly withdrew and everything around her began to evaporate in a overpowering darkness._

"Alex!" Maura's own cry reverberated in the room and it took her a few seconds to realize that it was a dream that had shook her awake. Someone stirred near her feet and she saw Jane shaken with the scream, trying to get back her bearings as well. She seemed to have dozed off while sitting there, and suddenly Maura realized, she was still in Jane's apartment, lying on her bed. She remembered a lot of crying and a lot of exhaustion setting in before. Jane must have made her sleep there. Her dream suddenly rushed back to her and with that the heart wrenching sobs of her sister.

"Alex…" Maura found her words triggering a swell of tears again. It wasn't just a dream. She had broken her promise. She was never going to forgive herself. Jane saw the rush of emotions as they flashed on her best friend's visage and she immediately rushed to Maura's side, hugging her sideways and rubbing her palms up and down her arms in an attempt to calm her.

"Hey, shhh… it is alright Maur. Alex is alright. She is okay. She is here. I called her after you slept. She insisted she wanted to be here. I think she is asleep on my couch."

Maura turned to look back into Jane's eyes as if verifying the validity of her statement. Jane's eyes stayed solemn and soothing and Maura didn't need any other proof to believe. "I want to see her Jane." That was all Maura could muster.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author Notes:** I really appreciate if you are reading this story. Thank you.

_._._._._._._

Alex was curled up on Jane's couch, her legs tangled in the covers that draped her feeble body, when Maura's eyes finally found her. The dream she had just had, had shaken her to the core and seeing Alex pale and weak like that she just couldn't let go of the throbbing ache in her chest. Jane hadn't moved from her side and she was grateful because she needed all the strength she could gather to make it all right. Maura walked towards Alex in hushed steps, dropping on her knees in front of her so that she could hold onto Alex's sleeping countenance.

Moments into the silent reverie, Maura gently placed her palm on Alex's face, holding onto the rhythm of her breath. The warmth of Maura's hand gently pushed Alex to consciousness but the moment she opened her eyes, she flung herself onto Maura for a much needed hug.

"You are here M. You are okay…" Alex breathed as sighs of relief escaped her lips.

"I am so sorry baby, I am so so sorry…" Maura's voice broke into a plea as she hugged her little sibling back with all the strength.

"You aren't leaving me, are you?" Alex, still in disbelief, held Maura tighter into her embrace.

"Never sweetheart, I am so sorry for scaring you like that. I am never leaving you again." Maura could feel Alex shaking, the trembling voicing without words about the onset of tears on the verge of spilling. She held onto Alex as she pulled her back just enough to see in her eyes. They were glistening intensely in a familiar ache that she had seen in the dream. It pained Maura to see her like that. She swiped the tears with her fingers when they did burst their barriers and hugged Alex back in a tighter embrace. "I am never letting you go Alex. Never."

Jane who was standing right beside them, silently dropped on her knees, rubbing both their backs to soothe them. A smile found its way on her lips as she saw the two sisters finally calming down and she felt it was time to lighten the mood.

"Okay you guys, now relax a bit, now that everyone knows they are okay, can we eat something, I am positively starving with all the crying." Jane winked at Alex as she let the two of them sit back on the couch side by side.

Maura knew what Jane was doing and when she saw Alex smile back at Jane, she felt a wave of gratitude for Jane swelling in her chest. She momentarily held onto the gaze as her eyes locked on Jane's and conveyed everything she wished to say right through those glistening eyes. Jane smile grew gentle and she just rubbed Maura's back, telling her without words, they it was all going to be okay.


	13. Chapter 13

A week has passed by since Jane had almost lost Maura. She could still feel those moments playing on a loop in her mind and feel her best friend almost slipping through her grasp. It wasn't lost on Jane that she hadn't realized this until then that there was more than one way she can lose her and all she was trying to do now was forget she even knows it. Blissful ignorance, she tries to tell herself. But what if she had never known; what if Maura had left her without letting her in, without saying a word, moved apart and away in the blink of an eye. A shiver runs down her spine. She would rather know. She would rather remember. The irony of that thought.

"Jane.. Jane?" Alex's voice calls out for her and she jumps back into the reality, scared and on edge. She has been on edge now all the time since that day, more than usual perhaps. Every time she hears her name being called, she tries to dissect it there and then, worrying whether it bears bad news with it. She has solved innumerable cases that have dragged her in their clutches, twisting her insides with anxiety or worry, but what happened with Maura, what is happening to Maura; it is a whole different thing. It is as if all of that anxiety and fear has been wrapped up into one, multiplied hundred folds and thrown back into her chest at breakneck speed. It is a miracle she is even standing.

Jane immediately stands upright, her adrenaline on high and takes a few big strides, catching Alex halfway, "What is it Alex?" Jane's voice is laced with urgency, even though she is trying to cover it up. Her hands catch Alex's arms, moving up and down, the only soothing motion she knows she can use to calm both of them down. "You okay? Where is Maura?" Jane voices in a soft urgent voice.

"She is alright Jane," Alex pauses for a moment to look into Jane's eyes to strengthen her assurance. She has seen Jane enough to recognize anxiety edged on her brows, and right now, Jane is brimming with it. "I made her take her meds and sleep for a few hours. She hasn't been sleeping well. And I worry."

Jane's arms relax a little, new lines of worry replacing her anxieties and fear. She slowly returns back to her couch, silently beaconing Alex to follow her and she does.

"I worry too. But you did good Alex. She needs to sleep." Jane suddenly remembers all those times Maura told her the same thing followed by a long scientific explanation of why we couldn't just go without sleeping. Her reminisce brings about a little chuckle, however still, laced with sadness. It is as if Alex reads her too well. "You miss her."

Jane nods slightly and then sighs. "I need her."

Alex wants to follow that like an echo. The sheer shock of almost losing her big sister has jolted her insides. She knows that the only reason both of them are still standing is for Maura. Her M. Instead of diving back in again, she chooses to rest her head on Jane's shoulder. Jane senses the air and just pulls Alex in a sideway hug. They both need it.

"Have you eaten anything kiddo?" Jane gently strokes Alex's arm in comfort.

"No.. I can't seem to." Alex mumbles.

"Well, you do need to. Would you eat if I cook you something?"

Alex finds a little smile lacing her lips. "Nooooo…" she mischievously drawls.

"What? You don't like my cooking?" Jane teases in mock surprise, trying to cheer her up a little.

"How about we don't address that right now and order something, Pizza?" Alex smirks and looks up to find Jane's eyes boring her to dig out the mischief.

Jane gives a pause for dramatic effect and then finally gives in. "I suppose so. I will make you eat my food one day though."

"Good luck trying that." Alex mumbles inaudibly.

"What did you say now little Miss I-cook-like-a-chef?" Jane jokingly mocked.

Alex immediately stands up and runs to the counter, rushing her words to hide the smirk on her face, "Nothing at all, J. So, what would ya like to eat?"

Jane smiles, briefly tucking in all that is eating away her heart and soul, and fires away with the request of the pizza that Alex loves. It is a long haul ahead for all of them, but for now she would rather just make sure that Alex gets a few moments of blissful ignorance, even if it is not truly ignorance.


	14. Chapter 14

_It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day, the sky pleasing to the eye and the sun shining just strong enough to assuage the harsh cold that Maura could still feel tingling her senses from afar. It felt good though; to see the solemn radiance after what felt a long time and she finally registered what made her feel so genuinely elated. Her eyes decided to discern her surroundings further and looking around she found herself in the park, the one near Jane's apartment. She was sitting on a picnic blanket and she could see an entire picnic spread around her. A smile graced her lips instantly. A gush of happiness and calm surged through her and she immediately tried to find the people she would most want to share that with. Within moments she found Alex and Jane, standing and playfully talking near a jovial, sun-loving tree, probably trying to decide on something. Maura head tilted on its own accord to unveil her confusion and yet a smile continued to lace her lips out of sheer adoration of the scene. It was simple, just two of her favorite people talking and laughing and yet it was a precious sight for her eyes. She decided to join them. Slowly standing up, she took small calm strides to walk up to them. Alex saw her first, smiling broadly and immediately rushed to her side, hugging her sideways, at the same time Maura came to a stop before Jane._

" _M, please make Jane understand that there is a reason we split responsibilities." Alex whined in between hearty giggles._

" _Jane..." Maura's voice rose to a question as she raised her enquiring eyebrows and a smirk that always made Jane spill her secrets._

" _Maur, don't listen to her, she is just being an adorable ball of nuisance..." Jane playfully teased._

 _Maura smirked. "Since when did Alex become like you?" Giggles followed from both the Isles sisters._

" _Maur!" Jane pouted. "This is not fair. You both can't gang up on me at the same time."_

 _Maura extended her hand to hold Jane's and smiled, "You are just as adorable though, you know."_

 _Jane pouted a little more and then leaned in to whisper with tight lips in Maura's ears, "Maur, Come on! I have a reputation to maintain. Not in front of the kid."_

 _Maura let out a heartwarming laugh at that. "Okay okay, detective," Maura winked as she continued, "I will do whatever you two are so whiny to do."_

 _Jane's face adorned her endearing lopsided smile with an adoration whose origin Maura couldn't place. "Nah, Maur, I will go fetch the stuff from my apartment, but that just means little Miss Alex owes me one."_

 _Maura looked at Alex who was smiling victoriously still snuggling close to her and then back at Jane who was still smiling with the same adoration she had seen moments back. It was a rush of tranquility again and she almost wanted to stay in this bubble forever._

Maura's eyes opened. It had been a dream. She had taken her medicines and fallen asleep so quickly. Her hands rose up to her chest and her eyes looked at the watch. It had been three hours. Alex was right. She needed that sleep. Her mind was trying to get her back to reality, back to her room, to her turmoil-hit world, but she was still clinging to the elation and serenity that had transcended to her in her dream. She could still feel so calm and blissful. She was happy, safe, away from everything. A smile reminiscent of the dream snug her lips all over again. With everything that had taken a turn for the worse in the last few days, it was probably the first happy dream she had had. And somehow, it made her yearn for more. She didn't want to spend her waning days without the memories she could still have. Real ones. Not just dreams. She wanted to wind back to the time when she didn't know that she had a ticking bomb to a whole life she had built. But she couldn't. She couldn't do that. What she really could do was make the people most precious to her, happy with what she still had, however fleeting. For now, she just wanted to see them; see her baby sister and her best friend and tell them that she loved them.


End file.
